A Bigger Frying Pan
Two men went fishing. One man was an experienced fisherman, the other wasn't. Every time the experienced fisherman caught a big fish, he put it in his ice chest to keep it fresh. Whenever the inexperienced fisherman caught a big fish, he threw it back. The experienced fisherman watched this go on all day and finally got tired of seeing this man waste good fish.
"Why do you keep throwing back all the big fish you catch?" he asked.
The inexperienced fisherman replied, "I only have a small frying pan."
Sometimes, like that fisherman, we throw back the big plans, big dreams, big jobs, and big opportunities that God gives us. Our faith is too small. We laugh at that fisherman who didn't figure out that all he needed was a bigger frying pan; yet how ready are we to increase the size of our faith? Whether it's a problem or a possibility, God will never give you anything bigger than you can handle. That means we can confidently walk into anything God brings our way.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Struggle a little- then fly
Struggle a little- then fly
Once a biology class was going on.
The teacher was teaching the class on how a butterfly comes out of its cocoon. He brought a live cocoon to demonstrate a butterfly coming out. Unfortunately he was called out on an urgent task before the butterfly could come out. But before he went he warned the class that on no condition should anyone help the butterfly to come out. He went out and after some time the cocoon opened and the butterfly started to come out. One boy taking pity on the butterfly's struggle helped it to come out.
The sir returned and saw the butterfly and then asked the class. Who helped the butterfly. The boy raised his hand and confessed. The sir said, "You did grave error in helping the butterfly. In helping it, you deprived the butterfly of it life's goal. The initial struggle out of the cocoon should help the butterfly strengthen its wings. Now it will never fly.
We are also in some ways like this butterfly...
Now read on ....
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we were to go through life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as we could have been and we could never fly. So next time you are faced with an obstacle, a challenge, or a problem, Struggle a little- then fly.
Once a biology class was going on.
The teacher was teaching the class on how a butterfly comes out of its cocoon. He brought a live cocoon to demonstrate a butterfly coming out. Unfortunately he was called out on an urgent task before the butterfly could come out. But before he went he warned the class that on no condition should anyone help the butterfly to come out. He went out and after some time the cocoon opened and the butterfly started to come out. One boy taking pity on the butterfly's struggle helped it to come out.
The sir returned and saw the butterfly and then asked the class. Who helped the butterfly. The boy raised his hand and confessed. The sir said, "You did grave error in helping the butterfly. In helping it, you deprived the butterfly of it life's goal. The initial struggle out of the cocoon should help the butterfly strengthen its wings. Now it will never fly.
We are also in some ways like this butterfly...
Now read on ....
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we were to go through life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as we could have been and we could never fly. So next time you are faced with an obstacle, a challenge, or a problem, Struggle a little- then fly.
A Knitting Blonde Driver
A Knitting Blonde Driver
A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting.
The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lungs.
"No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"
Pullover = sweater
Scarf = syal/selendang
A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting.
The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lungs.
"No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"
Pullover = sweater
Scarf = syal/selendang
Friday, August 3, 2012
The Lighthouse
Funny stories though I doubt this is real story (ed.).
The Lighthouse
The following is the transcript of an actual radio conversation in October 1995, between a US Navy ship and The British authorities, off the Scottish North coast. The transcript was released by the MoD on 10/10/95.
BRITISH : Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid collision.
US Navy : Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
BRITISH : Negative.You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
US Navy : This is the Captain of US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
BRITISH : Negative. I say again. You will have to divert your course.
US NAVY : THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN. THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS.DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THATS 15 DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
BRITISH : We are a lighthouse. Your move.
:)
The Lighthouse
The following is the transcript of an actual radio conversation in October 1995, between a US Navy ship and The British authorities, off the Scottish North coast. The transcript was released by the MoD on 10/10/95.
BRITISH : Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid collision.
US Navy : Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
BRITISH : Negative.You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
US Navy : This is the Captain of US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
BRITISH : Negative. I say again. You will have to divert your course.
US NAVY : THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN. THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS.DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THATS 15 DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
BRITISH : We are a lighthouse. Your move.
:)
The Dreams
The Dreams
The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that that lit up her entire being.
She said, "Hi, handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?" I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.
"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked.
She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, and then retire and travel."
"No seriously," I asked.
I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.
"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.
After class we walked to the student union building and share a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me. Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.
At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."
As we laughed she cleared her throat and began: "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only few secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. "You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dean and don't even know it!"
"There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change." "Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."
She concluded her speech by courageously singing The Rose. She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the years end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.
Remember : GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY, GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that that lit up her entire being.
She said, "Hi, handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?" I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.
"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked.
She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, and then retire and travel."
"No seriously," I asked.
I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.
"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.
After class we walked to the student union building and share a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me. Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.
At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."
As we laughed she cleared her throat and began: "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only few secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. "You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dean and don't even know it!"
"There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change." "Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."
She concluded her speech by courageously singing The Rose. She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the years end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.
Remember : GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY, GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
The English
The English
An Indian moved to England. His English neighbour decided to call on him to introduce himself and wish the newcomer welcome. The Englishman was surprised to see the man from India in his nice backyard busily absorbed in chasing ten chickens around like mad. "Must be an Indian custom," the Englishman thought to himself. Deciding not to intrude, he could put off the welcome till a later date and went home.
The next evening, he decided he should go again to welcome the Indian. This time, from the street, he saw through the window that the Indian was urinating into a cup and drinking it. "Must be an Indian custom," he thought to himself, deciding again to delay the welcome by another day.
The third day, he was determined he had to welcome the Indian. From the gate, he saw the Indian concentrating with his ear pressed hard against a cow's butt. Starting to be annoyed at this behavior in the neighborhood, he went up to the Indian. "I'm sorry to disturb you sir. I am your neighbour. I wanted to wish you welcome,but from what I have seen you doing for the last three days, I am not so sure any more - because we don't want such goings on in our neighbourhood", said the Englishman unable to hold his voice from rising.
'Neither I, nor the other people living in the neighbourhood will stand for your crazy Indian customs!", he almost yelled to the Indian's face. The Indian looked confused and answered. "Sorry sir, I think you are mistaken. These are actually English customs. I was told, to be English, you have to chase chicks, get piss drunk, and listen to bullshit."
Note:
Chase Chicks : Going after woman / Trying to find girlfriends.
Get Piss Drunk : The point of drunk where you don't realize that you're drunk, but you manage to piss yourself on someone's porch or something.
Listen to bullshit : listen to nonsense
An Indian moved to England. His English neighbour decided to call on him to introduce himself and wish the newcomer welcome. The Englishman was surprised to see the man from India in his nice backyard busily absorbed in chasing ten chickens around like mad. "Must be an Indian custom," the Englishman thought to himself. Deciding not to intrude, he could put off the welcome till a later date and went home.
The next evening, he decided he should go again to welcome the Indian. This time, from the street, he saw through the window that the Indian was urinating into a cup and drinking it. "Must be an Indian custom," he thought to himself, deciding again to delay the welcome by another day.
The third day, he was determined he had to welcome the Indian. From the gate, he saw the Indian concentrating with his ear pressed hard against a cow's butt. Starting to be annoyed at this behavior in the neighborhood, he went up to the Indian. "I'm sorry to disturb you sir. I am your neighbour. I wanted to wish you welcome,but from what I have seen you doing for the last three days, I am not so sure any more - because we don't want such goings on in our neighbourhood", said the Englishman unable to hold his voice from rising.
'Neither I, nor the other people living in the neighbourhood will stand for your crazy Indian customs!", he almost yelled to the Indian's face. The Indian looked confused and answered. "Sorry sir, I think you are mistaken. These are actually English customs. I was told, to be English, you have to chase chicks, get piss drunk, and listen to bullshit."
Note:
Chase Chicks : Going after woman / Trying to find girlfriends.
Get Piss Drunk : The point of drunk where you don't realize that you're drunk, but you manage to piss yourself on someone's porch or something.
Listen to bullshit : listen to nonsense
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