Traveller In The Far East Ordering Breakfast

Traveller In The Far East Ordering Breakfast

Note: this story is about how two people using the English language build up a fine example of miscommunication. Read it aloud to yourself, pronounce it just the way this text is written.

Room Service: "Morny, ruin sorbees"
Guest: "Sorry, I thought I dialled room service."
RS: "Rye..ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen?
G: "Uh..yes, i'd like some bacon and eggs"
RS: "Ow July den"
G: "What?"
RS: "Ow July den?..pry, boy, pooch?"
G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled, please"
RS: "Ow July dee baychem...crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine"
RS: "Hokay. An San tos?"
G: "What?"
RS: "San tos. July san tos?"
G: "I don't think so"
RS: "No? Judo one toes?"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means"
RS: "Toes! Toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast'. Fine, yes, an English muffin will be fine"
RS: "We bother?"
G: "No, just put the bother on the side."
RS: "Wad?"
G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side"
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Sorry?"
RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"
G: "Yes, coffee please, and thats's all."
RS: "One minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy...rye?"
G: "Whatever you say"
RS: "Tendjewberrymud"
G: "You're welcome."
And now with subtitles, just to be sure...

Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees"
Room service Translation (RST): "Morning, room service"
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service"
RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"
RST: "Right! Room service! Do you wish to order something?"
G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs"
RS: "Ow July den?"
RST: "How would you like them?"
G: "What??"
RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?"
RST: "How would you like them? Fried? Boiled? Poached?"
G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry. Scrambled please."
RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"
RST: "How would you like the bacon? Crisp?" [=kross]
G: "Crisp will be fine."
RS: "Hokay. An San tos?"
RST: "OK. And some toast?"
G: "What?" RS:"San tos. July San tos?"
RST: "Some toast. Would you like some toast?"
G: "I don't think so"
RS: "No? Judo one toes??"
RST: "No? You don?t want toast?"
G:"I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."
RS: "Toes! Toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow inglish mopping we bother?
RST: "Toast! Toast! Why do you don?t want toast [!!] ? How about an English Muffin with butter?"
G: "English muffin! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Okay, fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bother?"
RST: "With Butter?"
G: "No, just put the bother on the side."
RS: "Wad?"
RST: "What?"
G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
RST: "Coffee?"
G: "Sorry?"
RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"
RST: "Coffee? Tea? Milk?"
G: "Oh,yes.. Coffee please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy ... rye?"
RST: "One minute. That's room twenty-three, scrambled eggs, crisp bacon, toast and english muffin with butter on the side, and coffee. Right?"
G: "Whatever you say"
RS: "Tendjewberrymud"
RST: "Thank you very much"
G : "You're welcome"

Reason why never visit a 5* Hotel

Reason why never visit a 5* Hotel

Question : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"
Answer: "Tea please"
Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon tea "
Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?"
Answer: "White"
Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?"
Answer: "With milk "
Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"
Answer: "With cow milk please.
Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "
Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer: "With sugar"
Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"
Answer: "Cane sugar "
Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"
Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."
Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "
Answer: "Mineral water"
Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"
Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst !!