Person and Mistakes

Person and Mistakes

Teacher: What do you call a person who apologizes if he has committed a mistake ?
Girl: An honest man.
Teacher: Good. And what do you call a person who apologizes even if he has committed no mistake ?
Girl: A Boyfriend.

source: jokebuddha.com

First Male Blonde Joke

First Male Blonde Joke
The very first ever Blonde GUY joke ..... And well worth the wait!

An Irishman, a Mexican, and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The blonde guy opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.
The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna, and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"
The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife.
The blonde's wife said, "Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch."

Real Love

Real Love

It was a gloomy Saturday afternoon. A flock of birds was spending great time searching for food and playing on the main road. Out of the sudden, a big truck sped through... sad thing had happened again. 
 
Birds can feel too. Although this bird had already died, another bird flew over to her immediately, just like a family member, unable to accept the truth.

Not long after that, another car stormed in causing the dead bird's body to whirl with the wind. The spouse noticed the movement. As if she was still alive, he quickly flew beside her again.

He stayed beside her and yelled ... "WHY ARE YOU NOT GETTING UP!?"He stayed beside her and yelled ... "WHY ARE YOU NOT GETTING UP!?"

Unfortunately, she's no longer able to hear him. In the meantime, he's trying to lift her up.

He, of course, was unable to bear the burden. Another car soon passed by. He quickly flew off. Once the car had gone, he came down again.

Although other birds told him its useless, he never gave up. He was trying his best to lift her up to see her flying again. Another car passed by, her dead body whirled again as if still alive and trying to fly.
He had used all of his energy, however...

The photographer said he couldn't shoot any longer. The photographer was so worried that the living bird was going to get hurt by passing cars. So he picked up the dead bird and left it at the roadside. The live one still lingered at a nearby tree as if crying with his singing and refused to leave.

Do humans have the same feelings nowadays? I wonder.

Love Poets (Old vs New version)

"The Old Version"

If you love somebody,
Set her free.
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, she never was.

"The New Versions"

Pessimist:
If you love somebody,
Set her free.
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, well, as expected, she never was.

Optimist:
If you love somebody,
Set her free.
Don't worry, she will come back.

Suspicious:
If you love somebody,
Set her free.
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient:
If you love somebody,
Set her free.
If she doesn't come back soon,
Forget her.

Patient:
If you love somebody,
Set her free.
If she doesn't come back soon,
Continue to wait until she does come back.

Playful:
If you love somebody,
Set her free.
*If she comes back, and if you love her still,
set her free again, repeat*

Vengeful:
If you love somebody,
Set her free.
If she doesn't come back,
Hunt her down and shoot her.

C++ Programmer:
if(you-love(m_she))
m_she.free()
if(m_she = NULL)
m_she = new CShe;

Animal-Rights Activist:
If you love somebody,
Set her free.
Because all living creatures deserve to be free!

Lawyers:
If you love somebody,
Set her free.
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the
 Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that ...

Bill Gates:
If you love somebody,
Set her free.
If she comes back,
I think we can charge her for reinstallation fees
but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.

Biologist:
If you love somebody,
Set her free.
She'll evolve.

What Goes Around Comes Around

What Goes Around Comes Around

One day a man saw an old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her. Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her?

He didn't look safe; he looked poor and hungry. He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was those chills which only fear can put in you.
He said, "I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson."

Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt. As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him.

She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid. Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty, who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way. He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, "And think of me." He waited until she started her car and drove off.

It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight. A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase.

The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan. After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin.

There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: "You don't owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you." Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard.... She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, "Everything's going to be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson."

There is an old saying "What goes around comes around."

Today, I sent you this story and I'm asking you to pass it on... Let this light shine.

Unconditional Love

Unconditional Love

Some time ago, a friend of mine punished his 4 year old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper.

Money was tight and he became infuriated when the small child tried to decorate a box to put under the tree. Nevertheless the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said "This is for you Daddy."

He was embarrassed by his earlier over reaction. He opened the box and his anger flared again when he found the box was empty. Then he yelled at her: "DON'T YOU KNOW when you give someone a present there's supposed to be something inside of it???"

The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "Oh Daddy it's not empty, I blew kisses into the box, all for you Daddy".

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged her for forgiveness. My friend told me that he kept that gold box near his bed for years. Whenever he was discouraged he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there. In a very real sense each of us has been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold.